When Your Partner Stops Showing You Love, How Do You Restore It? By Akanegbuu

The purpose of entering into a relationship is to have a partner in most aspects. A partner to celebrate life’s joyful events, share sorrowful moments with, make and train children, come home to and tell events that affect us the most.

With this mindset sometimes, partners come together to start a family. The yelling and shouting that sometimes follow is not expected. Surprise sets in. Wasn’t this the man that promised to love me forever? Is this the lady I asked out?

We get confused and to avoid being hurt, we clam up. We do not share our feelings. We stop sharing our expectations. We are walled up to avoid confrontations. But this is not what we bargained for. There’s something missing. Though we act like we don’t care, their silence hurts like a knife twisted in the gut.

We want a loving relationship but we got a silent one.
Could it be possible?
Is a relationship without love possible?
Can love still be restored in a relationship?

Here are four ways to reignite love in a relationship after realising something is amiss.

NOTE: These tips are meant for either partner that is ready to fight for the relationship and restore love to the union.

1. Be Loving
Yea, it came as a shock. We want a loving relationship but we must first show that love. Understand your partner’s love language and do those things they love and appreciate. We must be a friend before we can get a friend. Therefore, to get loved, we must be loving. Show them love. Show care. For you to regain a loving relationship, you must re-establish it.

2. Unwall Yourself
To get someone to open up to you, you must take the lead. Talk to your silent partner about everything even if s/he is very silent and acts like they aren’t listening. Continue talking as long as your partner is not abusive (emotional and physical). Talk with them. Share your fears and troubles with them. Prepare your mind that your partner might be uncouth and hurt you in the process, but it is worth it. When your partner equally opens up to you, your mission is fulfilled.

3. Get Your Partner To Unwall Themselves
Now, here’s the tricky part. You have to help your partner to unwall themselves with or without them realising it. At this stage, your partner should have realised your efforts and be ready to go through the process with you. If they are equally willing to restore love in the relationship, they will be comfortable with your involvement.  If they aren’t, don’t be troubled – just keep your eyes on the ball. It could take longer than expected.

When they mention how busy they are, ask kindly what they have been doing and offer assistance. When they mention how tired they are, ask how you could make them feel better. When they seem very enthusiastic about a new idea, don’t shut them up with “That’s very nice”. Ask further questions about the new idea or event that is making them enthusiastic.

Little by Little, Step by Step they will open up completely.

4. Avoid Making Same Mistakes That Led To The Silent Relationship
Once you and your partner are on speaking terms, it is easy to fall into the lie that it will always be like that. You have to work on your relationship every single time to avoid it returning to that silent phase.
Try to eliminate them the things that caused the relationship to drift apart the first time. Keep close to each other. Avoid taking notice of every slight mistake. Give allowance for mistakes. You are not perfect and so is your partner. Sometimes, if not, most times, try to swallow your pride and apologize first. Don’t always withdraw into yourself. The relationship didn’t just drift apart one day. It took clusters of little mistakes to cause a huge drift. Avoid making same mistakes as before.

A fulfilled relationship does wonders in your life. When your relationship is giving you the required pleasure, it leads to success in every aspect, career included.

Ensure that you do your own huge part in keeping your relationship fulfilled.